My fanfic – let me start by saying…

oscar and Girodelle

let me start by saying…

rating: T

condition: complete

grene:romance/angst

author: Mia

beta reader: Ying

This fic was inspirited by the wonderful song “Hello”.

“Hello” is a song by Lionel Richie. Taken as the third single from Richie’s multi-platinum album Can’t Slow Down, the song was released in 1984 and reached number one on three Billboard music charts: the pop chart (for two weeks); the R&B chart (for three weeks); and the adult contemporary chart (for six weeks). The song also went to #1 on the UK Singles Chart. It is considered by many as Richie’s signature song. (according to wikipedia.org)

If you like to listen to the music, play this:

———————————————————

And here’re the lyrics

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my doorHello, is it me you’re looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You’re all I’ve ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide

‘Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you …

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I’ve just got to let you know

‘Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven’t got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you …

Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
‘Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven’t got a clue
But let me start by saying … I love you

——————————————————————————————————————

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind

My father told me that you and I would compete for the position as the commander of the Royal guards. You and I? Hah, I laughed a lot, of course not in front of my father’s face, he would kill me for that! But after he closed the door, I laughed like I had never laughed before. You? A woman? And I ? A real man, a real warrior? Now I wondered how you look like, as I heard all the ladies at the court said you were handsome. A handsome woman? That made me laugh again! A woman looked like a man, like a handsome man! Oh, I couldn’t help laughing…

I long to see the sunlight in your hair

I saw you were waiting for me. I couldn’t believe in my eyes…Your blue eyes, they were like two pieces of the sky, so pure and so bright . Your skin, I though it was made of top-grade silk, so smooth and so ruddy. And your hair…your hair…I stared at your hair as if  I had been looking at an ocean with golden waves sparkling in the sunlight…No, it was even more shiny than the sun…how could I point my sword to that beauty?

But you pointed your sword to my face! You were really serious! And I knew it wasn’t a game for you…you were sure like a man, not your look, but your soul…

What is this? What is this strength? Are you really a woman? You were moving like you were flying to my weakest defensing spots, and using sword like it was a part of you! I’ve never felt so threatened while fencing with anyone before!

I can’t lose! I’ve never lost, and I won’t! I won’t lose to a woman, and I won’t lose to you!

Ah!…In the blink of an eye, my sword easily slipped off and flew away from my hand. Under the sun, the shine of your hair and that of my blade pierced into my eyes and my heart.

WAIT! It has only begun!
Don’t walk away like that! You’re satisfied but I am not! I can’t lose to a woman…
But I lost! I lost my sword, my pride…to you
And I lost my heart to you…

I sometimes see you pass outside my door

I have been under your command in the Royal guards since. I see you everyday, I see your splendid face everyday, and I see your golden light waves everyday. When I close my eyes, I feel your hair waving in the wind and, looping around my face…but when I come back to my sense, you are not there, you are never there..

Cos you know just what to say
And you know just what to do

How can a woman be in the army? How can a woman be strong like that? How can a woman be better than men at doing their jobs? How can you be tough like that? How can you be so marvelous at protecting the court like that?

And…how can you also be such a beautiful woman like that?

Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow

Yes, my heart will overflow, actually. It is melting right now as I see you passing by. I want to touch you, I want to embrace you, I want to hold you…

And tell you time and time again, how much I care

But I can’t…

Are you somewhere feeling lonely

Every now and then, I wonder if you have ever thought of being a real woman? Have you ever thought of being in a dress and dancing with men in the ball? I’ve never seen you in dresses, but I would die to see that for even just once… Just image how charming you would be in a dress… how salient your blue eyes would be with a white dress… how brightened up your face would be if your hair are gather into a bun…

All the men would prostrate themselves at your feet if you showed yourself in front of them like that…and I would kiss the ground under your steps…

I wonder what HE would do if he saw you in a dress?

Or is someone loving you

You don’t recognize that he love you, do you?
But I do, because I love you too…

But I’m afraid that you‘ll recognize his love…one day…

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile

I can see how you are looking at him, so tender, so caring…I see your smiles, and I know that aren’t for me…

Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

You’re always looking for him, and he’s always by your side.

Why?

He isn’t a Royal guards, he isn’t even a noble, so why is he always with you?

I always call you “commander”, but he always call you by your name. I am so jealous for I being a noble but without such privilege! I can only let those letters run passing my mouth in my dream…my only dream, where I can approach you from behind, tap on your shoulder and say “it’s time to go home.”

Wait, no, that’s not exactly what I want. I want to put my arms around you, have your head leaning tenderly against my shoulder and  whisper to your ear “Let’s go home, Oscar”.FOR REAL! I want you to belong to me, I want to own you, I want you!

And I want to tell you so much,  I love you

But you transferred to the French guards…

NO!

Cos I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do

Why did you do that? Don’t you remember you’re a woman? You can be good in Royal guards, because we are nobles, we are gentlemen, we would never do anything to hurt a woman like you… but French guards? I can’t image that, I’m not dare to… Don’t do that, don’t leave Royal guards, don’t leave me…

Hello, I’ve just got to let you know

That I know I can’t stop you, no one can stop you. You’re so stubborn, yet I love you for being the stubborn you, and being true to yourself.

You’re all I’ve ever wanted and my arms are open wide

I know you will never run into my arms, I know …but I will make you mine, you will be mine!

Because your father assures his willingness to let you marry to me. I am too excited to believe what I am hearing, and I feel like the air around me coagulates for a second, then thaws like the snow under the sun, as you appear at the door…Maybe indeed I am dreaming…

And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips, a thousand times

Except I am at this moment, kissing you, for real!
Ah…and it is so sweet, so soft, like stating a flesh ripped strawberry just be picked up from the brush…

But it suddenly vanishes as you rush me out and run away…

Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven’t got a clue

Why are you running away from me? Did I do anything wrong? What did I do? What should I do? What must I do?

Are you somewhere feeling lonely
Or is someone loving you

Just like what I’ve been afraid of…you recognized…you recognized his love for you…did you recognize that you loved him too? Oh well, you will, you will soon…how could I continue begging for your love when you said you would be sad if he was suffering. How could I continue begging for your kiss when you said you wouldn’t be happy if he wouldn’t enjoy living?

I want you to be happy, with me or without me, I always want you to be happy…

But let me start by saying, I love you

I have not seen you again since, until the day we are in front of the Hall of States.

I can see it in your eyes

I can see that, I can see the disappointment…don’t look at me like that, I am only doing my job …don’t look at me like that…

I’ve just got to let you know

That I was never able to point the sword at your face, and I can’t now…I can’t…

And tell you time and time again, how much I care

I heard you joined the revolution, yes, that’s something you would do, and that’s something a woman like you would do…And I know you went to the battlefield with him…He was always by your side, he is always by your side, and he will always be by your side…

But let me start by saying, I love you

No, it can’t be true, it can’t never be true, I won’t believe that!… you’re still living, your are still breathing, you are still alive, you are happy now! Yes, you are happy with him, with the man of your life! You have to be living, you have to! I refuse to believe that! Don’t tell me that terrible news! I won’t believe it!

I‘ve read somewhere, “the only feeling of real loss is when you love someone more than you love yourself.”

I’ve lost to you in the match. I’ve lost you to him in the night I withdrew my proposal. Both hurt me a lot…though I rather see you smiling with him, kissing him and being happy with him, than seeing you crying and being lonely without him… and I rather be killed by your sword, than seeing a sword stabs straight to your heart…

I lost to you and I lost you to him…but I didn’t except I’d lose you forever, I didn’t except the truth that I would not be able to see you again, I would not be able to see your sapphire eyes, your blond hair, your rosy lips…No, I didn’t except that, and I would not believe that…

You are with him right now! You are happy right now! That’s my belief…you are happy now…

But let me start by saying, I love you…

the end

Note: I don’t know why, but recently, I like to write about Girodelle…And about “I‘ve read somewhere: “The only feeling of real loss is when you love someone more than you love yourself.” actually, it’s me, not Girodelle read that line, of course :mrgreen: I don’t remember the author of that sentence, and I don’t know if it appeared in the 18st century or not…But I found it fits Girodelle and his silent love….

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you’re looking for?I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You’re all I’ve ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
‘Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you …

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I’ve just got to let you know

‘Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven’t got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you …

Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
‘Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven’t got a clue
But let me start by saying … I love you

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind

My father told methatyou and I would compete for the position as the commander of the Royal guards. You and I? Hah, I laughed a lot, of course not in front of my father’s face, he would kill me for that! But after he closed the door, I laughed like I had never laughed before. You? A woman? And I ? A real man, a real warrior? Now I wondered how you look like, asI heard all the ladies at the court said you were handsome. A handsome woman? That made me laugh again! A woman looked like a man, like a handsome man! Oh, I couldn’t help laughing…

I long to see the sunlight in your hair

I saw you were waiting for me. I couldn’t believe in my eyes…Your blue eyes, they were like two pieces of the sky, so pure and so bright . Your skin, I though it was made of top-gradesilk, so smooth and so ruddy. And your hair…your hair…I stared at your hair as if  I had been looking at an ocean with golden waves sparkling in the sunlight…No, it was even more shiny than the sun…how could I point my sword to that beauty?

But you pointed your sword to my face! You were really serious! And I knew it wasn’t a game for you…you were sure like a man, not your look, but your soul…

What is this? What is this strength? Are you really a woman? You were moving like you were flying to my weakest defensing spots, and using sword like it wasa part of you! I’ve never felt so threatened whilefencing with anyone before!

I can’t lose! I’venever lost, and I won’t! I won’t lose to a woman, and I won’t lose to you!

Ah!…In the blink of an eye, my sword easily slipped off and flew away from my hand. Under the sun, the shine of your hair and that of my blade pierced into my eyes and my heart.

WAIT! It has only begun!
Don’t walk away like that! You’re satisfied but I am not! I can’t lose to a woman…
But I lost! I lost my sword, my pride…to you
And I lost my heart to you…

I sometimes see you passoutside my door

I have beenunder your command in the Royal guards since. I see you everyday, I see your splendid face everyday, and I see your golden light waves everyday. When I close my eyes, I feel your hair waving in the wind and, looping around my face…but when I come back to my sense, you are not there, you are never there..

Cos you know just what to say
And you know just what to do

How can a woman bein the army? How can a woman be strong like that? How can a woman bebetter than menat doing their jobs? How can you be strong like that? How can you be tough like that? How can you be so marvelous at protecting the court like that?

And…how can you also be such a beautiful woman like that?

Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow

Yes, my heart will overflow, actually. It is melting right now as I see you passing by. I want to touch you, I want to embrace you, I want to hold you…

And tell you time and time again, how much I care

But I can’t…

Are you somewhere feeling lonely

Every now and then, I wonder ifyou haveever thought of beinga real woman? Have you ever thought of being in adress and dancing with men in the ball? I’ve never seen you in dresses, but I would die to see that foreven justonce… Just image how charming you would be in a dress… how salientyour blue eyes would be with a white dress… how brightened upyour face would be if your hair aregather into a bun…

All the men would prostrate themselves at your feet if you showed yourself in front of them like that…andI would kiss the ground under your steps…

I wonder what HE woulddo if he saw you in a dress?

Or is someone loving you

You don’t recognize that he love you, do you?
But I do, because I love you too…

But I’m afraid that you‘ll recognize his love…one day…

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile

I can see how you are looking at him, so tender, so caring…I see your smiles, and I know that aren’t for me…

Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

You’re always looking for him, and he’s always by your side.

Why?

He isn’t a Royal guards, he isn’t even a noble, sowhy is he always with you?

I always call you “commander”, but he always call you by your name.I am so jealous for I being a noble but without such privilege! I can only let those letters run passing my mouth in my dream…my only dream, where I can approach you from behind, tap on your shoulder and say “it’s time to go home.”

Wait, no, that’s not exactly what I want. I want to put my arms around you, have your head leaning tenderly against my shoulder and  whisper to your ear “Let’s go home, Oscar”.FOR REAL!I want you to belong to me, I want to own you, I want you!

And I want to tell you so much,  I love you

But you transferred to the French guards…

NO!

Cos I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do

Why did you do that? Don’t you remember you’re a woman? You can be good in Royal guards, because we are nobles, we are gentlemen, we would never do anything to hurt a woman like you… but French guards? I can’t image that, I’m not dare to… Don’t do that, don’t leave Royal guards, don’t leave me…

Hello, I’ve just got to let you know

That I know I can’t stop you, no one can stop you. You’re so stubborn, yet I love you for being the stubborn you, and being true to yourself.

You’re all I’ve ever wanted and my arms are open wide

I know you will never run into my arms, I know …but I will make you mine, you will be mine!

Because your father assures his willingness to let you marry to me. I am too excited to believe what I am hearing, and I feel like the air around me coagulates for a second, then thaws like the snow under the sun, as you appear at the door…Maybe indeed I am dreaming…

And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips, a thousand times

Except I am at this moment, kissing you, for real!
Ah…and it is so sweet, so soft, like stating a flesh ripped strawberry just be picked up from the brush…

But it suddenly vanishes as you rush me out and run away…

Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven’t got a clue

Why are you running away from me? Did I do anything wrong? What did I do? What should I do? What must I do?

Are you somewhere feeling lonely
Or is someone loving you

Just like what I’ve been afraid of…you recognized…you recognized his love for you…did you recognize that you loved him too? Oh well, you will, you will soon…how could I continue begging for your love when you said you would be sad if he was suffering. How could I continue begging for your kiss when you said you wouldn’t be happy if he wouldn’t enjoy living?

I want you to be happy, with me or without me, I always want you to be happy…

But let me start by saying, I love you

I have not seen you again since, until the day we are in front of the Hall of States.

I can see it in your eyes

I can see that, I can see the disappointment…don’t look at me like that, I am only doing my job …don’t look at me like that…

I’ve just got to let you know

That I was never able to point the sword at your face, and I can’t now…I can’t…

And tell you time and time again, how much I care

I heard you joined the revolution, yes, that’s something you would do, and that’s something a woman like you would do…And I know you went to the battlefield with him…He was always by your side, he is always by your side, and he will always beby your side…

But let me start by saying, I love you

No, it can’t be true, it can’t never be true, I won’t believe that!… you’re still living, your are still breathing, you are still alive, you are happy now! Yes, you are happy with him, with the man of your life! You have to be living, you have to! I refuse to believe that! Don’t tell me that terrible news! I won’t believe it!

I‘ve read somewhere, “the only feeling of real loss is when you love someone more than you love yourself.”

I’ve lost to you in the match. I’ve lost you to him in the night I withdrew my proposal. Both hurt me a lot…though I rather see you smiling with him, kissing him and being happy with him, than seeing you crying and being lonely without him… and I rather be killed by your sword, than seeing a sword stabs straight to your heart…

I lost to you and I lost you to him…but I didn’t except I’d lose you forever, I didn’t except the truth that I would not be able to see you again, I would not be able to see your sapphire eyes, your blond hair, your rosy lips…No, I didn’t except that, and I would not believe that…

You are with him right now! You are happy right now! That’s my belief…you are happy now…

But let me start by saying, I love you…

Advertisements

19 thoughts on “My fanfic – let me start by saying…

  1. When I saw the anime, Girodelle didn’t caught my attention, but when I read the manga, I fell in love with him. André is a wonderful man, but sometimes, he is obsessive and selfish. André prefers to kills Oscar before seeing her in another man’s arms (He was more selfish in the manga, but I prefer it anyway, ’cause he’s more human in his faults). Girodelle, however, prefers to let her go before saw her being unhappy at his side. I think they loved her with the same intensity, and both of them showed their love in wonderful ways, but Girodelle’s love was more generous. The last sentence puts it well: even when Oscar died, he tries to convince himself that she is happy now, with the only man she really loved, even that man wasn’t him. He needs to believe she’s happy now, no matter if she’s gone forever of his life.

    Do I need to say this made me cry a lot?

    One last thing: The song is just perfect.

    • I wrote this fic when I was terribly obsessed by Girodelle. I wasn’t satisfied with Girodelle in the anime, I felt like he wasn’t really love her, it was just he used to see her, meet her every day and now he couldn’t, so he wanna marry her… In the manga, his love for Oscar’s one of the greatest kind of love. Then I wanna write down his true feeling…

  2. Hi mia!
    it’s wonderful story. I like girodelle and i love the way u write about him. Keep writing about him&oscar! \(^o^)/

Comments will go through approval process before appearing on the site.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s